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The Best Batshit Crazy Ex Girlfriends

Ew. I can’t believe that I’m about to confess this, but I think I just had my first ultimate batshit crazy moment. I kid you not. How tacky is that? I’ve had plenty of experience dealing with other bat shit crazy girls, and boy’s crazy ex girlfriends, but I usually seem to lack in that department. Apparently not tonight though. Ew. I’m so over it. It’s not a look that I want to continue with. [Insert embarrassed face here]. Seriously.

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I often make jokes about me being bat shit crazy, and hell yeah, I probably am, but not usually with dudes. Crazy people don’t know their crazy, so as long as I keep telling myself I’m crazy, I’m good, right? Jokes aside though, I do defend batshit crazy ex girlfriends because behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way. Eesh – I think I just made myself confirm that theory. I’m so ashamed of my batshit crazy ways.

batshit crazy, ex girlfriends,

(Sorry RiRi- You know who you are. )

So, to make myself feel better, I decided to remind myself of the most insane batshit crazy moments other girls have had with me because their moments will make mine seem so much better. Does this make me a bully – Putting other people down to bring myself back up? Who am I? I’m just a disgusting person tonight, but let’s roll with it. At least I won’t be naming names and it’s hilarious.

batshit crazy, ex girlfriends,

  • Most recently in Florida, I had my neighbour’s ex girlfriend contact me on Facebook and go absolutely crazy because I lived beside her boyfriend. I kid you not – I just met my neighbour. He was just my neighbour. Then, to make matters worse, after harassing me for hours on Facebook while I was out at the club, when I finally came home, she had apparently driven to his house and threw everything he had ever bought for her on his doorstep. Mounds and mounds of things. She continued to stalk me for several weeks after.
  • My ex’s ex still tries to make my life miserable – And we’ve been over for more than year. This girl made it her mission to read all of my blogs and then call our mutual friends to cry about them. She tried fighting me at a bar. She tried pouring drinks on me. I even found her outside of my house once. She would steal his car, make fake accounts to comment on all my things, and even once brought a knife out in the middle of a party on his birthday. True story.
  • I recently heard a story that I apparently fought someone outside of my house in the driveway. I was shocked because I had never even heard of this person, nor have I had a “driveway” for several years. The story elaborated and it was revealed that an ex girlfriend of my boyfriend-at-the-time and her friend had found out where I lived and apparently went and told this elaborate story about us fighting on my driveway. Let me remind you, I never met neither of them nor had I even heard the name of one of them.
  • My last time at the yacht club, I was joking around with this lesbian couple that I have known over the months of living in Saint Pete. One of the lesbians exited to the bathroom, and I asked her partner if I could sit there until she came back. The place was crowded, so obviously she said yes. She began to show me pictures of her sexy son on her phone, then suddenly, the girlfriend returns, grabs her keys and purse in a huff, flips shit on her partner who I was sitting beside, and stormed out like I had been getting jiggy with it with her partner. Literally, I was sitting there looking at a picture of her son and remained sitting there, with my mouth dropped to the ground in complete and utter shock at what I just experienced. Luckily, my friends also witnessed it and we now use it as a hilarious reminder of batshit crazy girls.

I have so many more, but this post about batshit crazy girls is getting way too long. To the men out there, you’re probably at fault. Aren’t you always? Or the lesbians as mentioned in my most recent example. Girls lead with their hearts and emotions, which often get us titled as batshit crazy, but these girls took it way out of the ballpark.

Watch all my ex boyfriend’s comment on this confirming that this was not my first batsh!t crazy moment. Now, that, my friends, would be absolutely comical!

batshit crazy, ex girlfriends,

Thanks for the laugh, crazies. Please comment below and share your worst (Best) experience dealing with a batshit crazy or being a batshit crazy. Cheers to that you whackos!

2 Responses
  • Jillian
    January 14, 2014

    I’m a bat shit crazy ex too! I’ve been known to light exs stuff on fire, twice! The first time I was just out of high school and the bf I had dumped me, for a guy! I proceeded to light the hoodie he left at my house on fire in the backyard. Another time I was living with a boyfriend and I had spent the night at my parents up north and came home to find a strange car in the driveway, thinking it was a buddy crashed on our couch I walk in to find the couch empty and him sleeping in bed with another girl. I proceeded to grab up all the clothes on the floor next to the bed, out the back door and lit them on fire! She jumped out of the window and took off naked! I argue that while setting things on fire may be crazy, at least its legal! I’ve never been to jail, don’t ever plan on it! I’ve gotten my emotions in check better and learned to control the pyro within throughout the past few years.

    • Chantal McCulligh
      January 14, 2014

      Hey! I gotta give you credit. I would have done a ot more if I had found my boyfriend in MY bed with another woman. Hells no, I would be the girl in jail! hahhaha Thanks for sharing. xo

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