I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been going through travel blogs withdrawals from having no post being done about my road trip to Florida this week. Hence why I’m here right now. I’ve missed you guys! This week has been B-E-A-Utiful. My skin is peeling, I’m officially multicolored like a unicorn (I wish) and my hair is looking oh-so-Marilyn Monroe. It’s sexthy. Yes. Sexy with a lipse. Do you like it?
Last weekend I decided to take my sweet little sunburnt booty down to Johns Pass which I was told about from my family who travel the world with some of the most incredible vacation packages ever. Needless to say, their advice is advice you can trust! So let me tell you how awesome that was. Honestly, don’t even worry about booking vacation packages that let you swim with dolphins or tour boat the ocean because you get the marine life right in front of you sans the extra costs.
I spent $7 on the world’s worst Caesar because I’m pretty sure these Amerrrrrricans have a different bartenders guide to follow. Honestly. No joke. I threw it out after a couple sips. It was bad. Pretty sure their bartenders guide calls for Tequila, Tequila and more Tequila. That would have been fabulous… If I wasn’t on outdoor adventures that required me to drive home at the end of the day. Garbage. $8. Bon voyage.
I did meet some people in Johns Pass so I can finally say that I have friends. Oh em gee. Okay… I have a friend. One friend. And he wears a visor. Yes. Fashionable Chantal has a friend who wears a visor. Apparently I drank more of that bartenders guide gone-wrong Caesar than I had thought. Where is your fanny pack, friend? Jokes aside though (And of course, visor ignored), he’s pretty rad. I have a friend. Hahah. I feel as cool as you think I am right now. Don’t worry.
(Are you loving my new KaiKini? It’s my fave bikini brand!)
After finding my car in Johns Pass, since I apparently don’t pay attention to where I initially park, I decided to put more money in that meter to spend more time on Johns Pass. Seriously. That’s where all my money is going. Parking Meters, and I watch Parking Wars so I know that shaz aint no joke. Yes I just said “Aint”. Too much time in the US, already. I went to the Ocean, watched the dolphins (Oh em gee! I know) and fell in love. Not with the visor friend… With the dolphins, silly.
I’ve also met some people in my complex and I’m slowing getting the hang of places around here. I have pretty much hibernated myself down on the pool deck. I love that all the pools here have that little ledge where you’re sitting half in the water. It makes my tushy all wet. Plus, the reflections work fabulous for my sunburn that I’ve ever-so-proudly earned. At least I’m not pasty, right?
The next couple of days are calling for thunderstorms so I intend to head back to Johns Pass on the next sunny day. Until then, I shall watch the lightning and roar with the thunder and hope I don’t get electrocuted.
Oh, and my microwave broke, and you guys know how I am seriously so addicted to my Popcorn and Franks Red Hot Sauce combo. Well.. It’s been a week without it. Thanks, Microwave. You’re cramping on my lack-of-diet style. Oh, and mind you… I’ve taken my own little bartenders guide and indulged in some drinky drink drinks.. Drunk… Drrr… What?