A fabulous fashion Friday, it has not been for me.
Want to hear the story? Well of course you do!
So there’s this dress.
Looks like the paper bag princess, right? My old roommate and I actually named it the potato sack.
It has potential though.
But this dress wasn’t inexpensive, to say the least.
But that’s not the reason I haven’t been able to part from it.
Alright, so I purchased this Jessica Simpson dress probably more than a year ago, now. It was on sale (I love me some good deals, as you know) and the model looked so damn gawgeous in it. Plus, I was just loving the loose bohemian look of this dress.
I tend to steer clear of too-loose fitting clothes because often, I look like I’m drowning in them. Apparently I didn’t think of this when I clicked on, “confirm purchase” more than a year ago.
I received this dress, and have put it on probably a thousand times, but always ended up putting it back in my closet – which is where it has hung, untouched for too long.
I mean, it’s a Jessica Simpson dress. What the eff am I doing not rocking this bad boy?
So today, I decided to make this bohemian style dress work, or may it rest in peace in the hands of someone else. Yes, I do truly believe that this is my coldmedication talking because let’s get serious, would I really be able to give such a fabulous piece away, regardless if I never wear it? Probably not.
I tried a skinny belt high, a skinny belt low. A thick belt high, a thick belt low. I tied the fabric, scrunched the fabric, tugged the fabric and swooshed the fabric and nothing ..still, was working. Hell! I even tried blaming it on the shoes and switched to 100 different pairs.
Believe it or not, but I even tried to blame it on my fading Florida tan!
I was absolutely, 100% not willing to admit that this Jessica Simpson dress simply wasn’t for my body type.
That was not happening.
And then this happened.
And I grabbed a cute waist belt, scrunched all the fabric to the front so it was tight at the back (so I don’t look like I’m drowning) and it gave a nice waterfall flow to the front, providing some form fitting curves to the dress.
But here I sit, wondering if it looks like a yellow vagina at the front of my dress instead of a nice flow.
Am I wearing a big yellow vagina!?
What do you think?