This is what I look like when reading crazy bitches texts.
Rememeber when I was dating my ex and I had some super ex girlfriend crazy shazz going on in my life? Well yesterday, I found out that you don’t even have to like the dude to experience their kind of ex girlfriend crazy. All you have to do is have the guy as your friend. Who woulda thunk it?
P.S. Neither the guy or the girl appears in this blog. Let’s get serious. This dude is so much cuter.
“She thought she could turn me!”
Last night I was out with some of my gay guys, yes… My gay guys, and thank the gayly heavens above because they turned the situation around pretty darn fast with comments such as, “Oh, that’s just a bitch pissing on her territory” and when I was asked if “That was a threat”, my gay guys opted to say, “You have no idea, bitch!”. Here’s the thing though, when crazy bitches email me about their ex boyfriend and how they’re still in love with them, I strongly feel for them in my heart. Every girl has been there, haven’t we? The difference between you and me is that I don’t email the girl friend to get all ex girlfriend crazy on. Who does that? Apparently a lot of girls because there are a lot of crazy bitches out there.
Once I replied ever-so-nicely, which she probably didn’t even deserve in the first place because her ex is my friend, she got all nasty with me. Well, you just pissed on my party sweetheart because if there’s one thing I don’t deal with, it’s catty crazy bitches. I can handle crazy bitches but once you add that catty in there, I am so not okay with that. Let me explain this ex girlfriend crazy situation a little bit better. The guy is my neighbour, my friend. His ex apparently felt the need to express how inappropriate this was. Whaaaaat?! I’m sorry lady, should I pack my bags and move out of my house? Nutso. The sad part is, as she continued to go off on me, I was still nice! Eventually, I turned to my gay guys and realized that I’m arguing with a girl who doesn’t want me to be friends or neighbours with her ex. Can you just think about that for a second? Needless to say, we hit the dance floor shortly after that, but I do feel for her and her broken heart. However, now I know what my neighbour has been talking about. First hand experience, just saying.
Long story short, I laughed it off as I usually do when girls get their panties in a wad about their exes and just went out with my gay guys and enjoyed my night. I don’t want your man, honey. Your man wanted me. However, I couldn’t help but laugh my ass off as I drove home, past my neighbour’s house and found a bunch of Teddy Bears dumped on his front door step.
Oh, crazy bitches. We’ve all been there right? No? Me neither. Who knows. And before someone blasts me for bullying, this isn’t bullying. If it was, I’d blast her name all over this. In fact, I would like to argue that I was bullied last night with the ex girlfriend crazy shazz. Yeah! That’s right! I went there.
I wasn’t planning on even going out last night, but my gay guys needed me, naa mean. Our conversation went something like this:Him: You’re coming out. Me: No, I have so much to do. Him: Bitch, you’re coming out. Me: C’mon… I have so much to do. Him: I need you. Me: Fuck… Let me just find a hot pair of shoes to wear. Him: They better be fucking sexy!
I went with my new GuiltySoles, and I got one hell of a lot of compliments.
P.S. Convertible dance parties while driving with gay guys is probably the most phenomenal moment of life.
Honestly, should I write a book about all the crazy bitches I’ve experienced? I have some damn good stories!