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We Got Crabs on St Pete Beach on the Gulf Coast of Florida

The other day my beautiful gay lover (Dustin) and I went over to St Pete Beach to frolick in the sand. It’s on the gulf coast of Florida and in St Petersburg Fl… Hence the name, St Pete Beach. Fun fact though… I only just figured out St Pete was St Petersburg Fl. Don’t judge me. After we argued over whose car to take, convertible vs. his music (Pretty much), we headed off on our 20 minute drive listening to gangsta beats. Obviously Dustin won the argument. Never try to win a battle with a sassy gay boy. Just saying! Dustin is probably the whitest boy in the world. No, not pun intended. He blames me for his sunburn now… Because I didn’t have sunscreen. Apparently he can’t bring his own. Again, that’s what you get with a sassy best friend. While he roasted away in the sun, we obviously got up to some shenanigans. The funniest things always happen to us… Or maybe we are just funny. At least, that’s what we believe. Everyone else rolls their eyes at our jokes but whatevs. We get it and that’s all what matters. Within seconds of doing the stingray shuffle which is honestly a lifestyle sport here on St Pete Beach, we saw massive stingrays jumping out of the gulf coast Florida water a couple feet in front of us. We have never seen that before and it was pretty awesome to see. However, imagine one of those things jumping out of the water and onto you… No thank you. It was a sight to see because where I come from, the only thing we see jumping out of water (Lake water not to add) is… Well… Nothing.

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The seagulls were wild beasts on St Pete Beach but they aren’t annoying like they are back home. They’re hilariously evil. Dustin and I were snacking on some chips as we got our tan on (He got his burn on) and all of a sudden, a seagull walked right up to him as we were looking and took the chip out of his fingers and bit him at the same time. It was absolutely comical and I just happened to have my camera on. I then opted to throw chips all over him for my enjoyment. That was hilarious… For me and now for you reading this travel blogs post, anyway. The old man beside us apparently wanted to be Dustin’s friend because he came to the rescue and started screaming, “Get away from my buddy!” Yes… It was as awkward as it sounds.

It didn’t take long before our immaturity needed to be unleashed. (As if it wasn’t already!) Dustin and I decided to dig in the same and pick up shells in the water, and we got crabs. Yes. Dustin and I got crabs at St Pete Beach. Get your mind out of the gutter.  Dustin may or may not have accidentally ripped one of their claws off. Someone call PITA! We spent probably way longer than we should have digging in the sand. There’s these shell-type animal thingies that move and dig into the sand as well. It was super weird, but awesome.

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After being attacked by seagulls during our outdoor adventures, and catching crabs on the side, Dustin was whining to go home. What a baby. As mentioned, the sassy gay boy always gets what he wants and we were headed home to try to fish on my sea wall. Obviously, we didn’t catch a thing. We saw massive fish though… That swam far away from our fishing “hooks”. Now let me tell you, never allow two of the most impatient people in the world to fish. It just turns out to be a bitch fest of, “Why the hell aren’t they biting my hook!?” and, after three casts (How’s that for some fishing lingo),I’m so over this!“.


P.S. We met some super sexy German boys… And when they asked if Dustin was my boyfriend, all I could do was laugh hysterically. Not only do I wish cause I could totally spend my life with him…. But I’m more of a man than Dustin. I wear the pants in this relationship… He wears the frilly skirt.  


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