Guess where I am right now? Michigan State, baby! That’s right! I’m on the other side of the Canadian border (Look at an Ontario map), nestled amongst the thugs and pimps of 8 Mile. Okay. Not quite. In fact, that’s a total and complete lie. There’s no truth to that statement in any way, shape or form. You caught me. I’m no where close to being in the hood, but considering that I have never been driving in Michigan before, some of the roads did have me thinking that I was going to end up like the people who got shot in that Eminem movie.
… That’s dead … If you didn’t get it.
Oh, me driving in Michigan. What to tell you about that! Well let’s just start off by saying that I’m totally the person who sees a cop, and immediately feels guilty, so you can only imagine how I feel crossing the border, which is like the cops x’s 100. I obviously have no reason to be scared or intimidated, but my obviously large “gulps”, dry mouth and word studders would certainly have you thinking that I‘m some hardcore criminal as I come up to the border. I see authority and feel like I immediately act suspiciously, so as I drive over to the US, I start giggling after how awkward I get when I have to talk to the “big scawwy people in the boxes!” It just freaks me out. I feel like their gazing into my soul and analyzing my brain.
Before I knew it though, I was across the Blue Bridge and driving in Michigan.
Let me just tell you that the first sign I saw as I came across the US Border was, “Area of Prison. Don’t Pick Up Hitchhikers.”
… How comforting. Thanks for the warm welcome, Michigan.
So naturally, I started to feel like I was Eminem in 8 Mile. I’m totally the girl who watches too much TV, only I don’t watch any TV really… I just believe everything that I do watch, apparently. When I started to see a lack of Escalades driving in Michigan, I started to panic. Not going to lie. You can call me ignorant, but I’ve watched the 8 Mile movie more than once, okay?
… And it was based on a true story.
Plus, I didn’t have a Michigan map, so I had no idea where my GPS was leading me. I could have been going to 8 Mile for all I knew. Honestly though, my GPS decided to “lose signal” on me in the middle of Michigan! “Don’t fail me nowwwww, GPS, don’t fail me nowwww!” is what those 5 minutes of me driving in Michigan without a GPS consisted of.
I was so involved with my 8 Mile travel blogs theoryof Michigan that I even thought the bird poop on cars were bullet holes.
…I should probably stop watching movies, shouldn’t I? I’m that girl that everyone in Michigan hates. Hey! I didn’t produce the movie! Blame it on Eminem! I did decided to go work out just in case I run into some thugs while I’m here. I need to be able to kick some ass, naa mean.
Jokes aside, and my driving in Michigan ignored, I have landed in a rather beautiful suburb of Detroit. Well, that’s what the signs tell me, but the locals tell me that technically I’m not in Detroit. So where am I then, foo? Who knows.
You’re also probably wondering what in the world am I doing in Michigan. Do you remember that fabulous Ninja Turtle dress that I wear more frequently than a normal person would? Well, that company invited me to come visit and check out their new warehouse so that’s why I’m currently nestled in the wonderful land of Novi, Michigan – Which is seriously such a nice place! I almost feel like Novi, Michigan has been taken out of a love story movie set, and placed on the Michigan map. It’s cute.
…Maybe I shouldn’t tell you where I am after me openly stating my 8 Mile Theory. I don’t want to die. I already had some people from Michigan want to kill me. Please don’t. Hey! Everyone is thinking it – I just say it out loud. Don’t be sipping’ on Haterade.
Now, I’m about to finish my night the way every girl loves to. A nice bath with a buttermilk cupcake bath bubble thing, and a Cosmo. Auuh. Life is delightful in Michigan.
Back home tomorrow and then Florida in two weeks! Eeeeek!