I have completed my travel blogs latest road trip to Florida – Once again, and man does it ever feel amazing. Words can’t explain the complete difference in the way I feel when I came across that bridge to St. Petersburg, Florida. I just love my life here. Who I am. My friends. My Florida family. The sunshine. Aura. Happiness. It’s just everything that I ever want, and I’m working towards staying here officially. It’s going to be fabulous. My first week has been the pure reminder of exactly why I have always gone on a road trip to Florida. My heart always leads me back here because I adore this place. I have gotten into complete shenanigans throughout my outdoor adventures with my amazing friends and it hasn’t even been 7 days. I love it. And so do you because you get to vicariously live through me. You lucky bitch!
Seriously, this is one of the first things that happened where I’m just totally not surprised but pissed about. I am a criminal but it is all Dustin’s fault. (To all the law officials reading this… I am lying. I am a good girl!) Before we get into my criminal offense, I should remind you guys of who Dustin is. He is my little gay boy. My best friend. I met him on my road trip to Florida at the beginning of this year and I adore him. He is my other nut in the shell. If he was straight, I would marry him so I could spend every day of my life with him because we never have a dull moment. We are always laughing and people hate us. It’s fabulous. So let me get on with the shenanigans that my little gay homeboy got me into.
We were driving around St. Petersburg, Florida and he dumped my entire purse in the back of my car. So I grounded him… To the back seat. Just me and him in my car – Me driving and him in the backseat. That’s what you get! However, putting a gay boy in the back door, I mean back seat worked against me because Dustin began to get into all sorts of trouble back there and I was too busy driving to supervise him. I should have known better.
At one point, my gay boy Dustin was fooling around and I was laughingly yelling at him…. And ended up completely running a red light. I almost got T-Boned and some crazy dumb American (I’m the real dummy here) started flipping his shit on me. I thought he was about to bust a cap in my ass, since they have guns here and everything. Long story short, I circled around to see if there was a red light camera. BAM! Of course there was! Why wouldn’t there be? Just my luck. So I’ll be getting a nice citation soon in the mail. However, from what I hear it’s much less than the Canadian $400 fine so I’ll take it!
It’s no surprise to hear that Dustin and I got up to no good. After all, trouble just happens to find us wherever we go. Do you like how I blamed it on trouble finding us… And us not finding it? It’s always someone else’s fault, right? Obviously. So you better subscribe to this blog so you get updates on the rest of the shenanigans. This is only the beginning of my road trip to Florida, ladies and gentleman.
The bastard gay boy also threw pizza all over me as we were sitting on the ocean wall and not only did I almost get tons of poop on me, I had birds squacking and attacking one another on me. Thanks, Dustin. You’re fabulous…ly gay!